I've been sick for 7 days with the flu. I never could imagine that I'd get the flu. I'm one of those people who hardly never get sick...but I did. For a few of those days, I hardly moved...and I didn't care that I didn't move. My body was plain exhausted. And, it was a strange feeling. Your whole life is full of all these things you have to do - cook, clean, homeschool, nurse, comfort, parent, help and guide your children as needed, fix hurt feelings, fix booboos, direct their entertainment... You get the idea. But for these days, I just couldn't...and my body was too tired to cared. I was just 'me'. I was here. I just didn't 'do'. And...our home made it...haha. We survived me not doing all these things.
Most of my life I've sweated over doing these things I feel everyone expects from me. And, admittedly deep down at times, I felt I wouldn't be accepted if I didn't do these things. That I was less than. That I wasn't enough. That when in reality, they probably would have rather me just be.
I look back at different times in my life, and I find the times that I felt most as ease and relaxed were when I was just enjoying my time to its fullest...playing board games is a biggie, but by far the greatest times I've felt most at ease were when I was in the midst of praise and worship. Songs that have me singing to God and reaching high into His Presence and feeling His Love shine down on me. Oh, how beautiful He makes me feel. It's the most amazing feeling in this world! I truly feel free.
Now, normally, I walk my dogs twice a day...so for 7 days I missed this while I was sick. This evening, I felt enough energy to go walking. Ahhhh! When my feet hit the road and God's wonderful breeze fell on my face, and I felt the coolness of the grass on my bare feet, I cried at the beauty of it all. It was just a beautiful feeling on my body to feel such goodness all around me and I said to myself that it was great to be out of those walls. And, thoughts about walls came to mind...
I had been stuck in those walls for 7 days. I did not realize how stifling it really was until I felt the fresh breeze upon me. How many other walls do I have myself stuck in? What sins have me stuck? What preconceived thoughts do I have that others do not even think about me, but I think they do? What lies am I believing? What things do I speak that are not true? Are there sins God has forgiven, but I have not? Are their sins God has given me the way out, but I won't go His Way? Has God told me things to do, but I refuse, so I'm just plain stuck out of disobedience?
Oh, I don't want to be stuck in these four walls anymore. Oh, how I want to be so set free that I feel His breeze on me all the time. And, I'll just follow where He leads me. It really is amazing how simple it is when I just submit and let Him have His way. The second before submitting seems the hardest, but once the submission is done, oh what relief I find. It really does make life so much better.
What walls do you need to get out of? What cages do you feel trapped in? You're probably in some you don't even realize are there. Ask God. He'll open your eyes and show you where you are trapped and He'll show you how to get out.